Being half a bat and half a guy with a freaking giant mouth this pokemon is called… Batman who eats Honeycomb.
But seriously, think about it.
Zubat is a bat that can only be found in the zoo, but OH WAIT THAT ISN’T TRUE BECAUSE ALL THE ZUBATS ARE IN EVERY CAVE BECAUSE YOU CAN’T WALK TWO FREAKING STEPS WITHOUT ONE ATTACKING YOU.
I mean seriously zubat, chill out and let me take a couple steps or at least let a geodude fight me every now or then.
It means pubes, ok?
(I was gonna have a picture as well to further my point but then I decided I don’t want pubes on this tumblr. I mean, ew….)
Ninetales (ooh, look at that clever pun, they use “tales” instead of “tails!”) is a pokemon who is cool. I really appreciated this comment by my friend, Matt, though, “Dude, that’s so asinine! Like it has nine asses. Like a pokemon…basically Ninetales.”
VULPIX OR IT DIDN’T HAPPEN!! HURHURHUR.
…wait a minute… is it just me or does Vulpix sound eerily similar to bullshit? Eh, it’s probably just me. Anywho, this voluptuous pictorial pokemon is named Vulpix.
Clefable is here to remind us that while musical clefs may have their power, our whole lives are nothing but a fable, and that in all likelihood Plato’s Allegory of the Cave is true in some sense.
I always imagined Clefairy as the Clef Fairy. This is very similar to the Tooth Fairy except instead of coming into your room at night and steeling your teeth The Clef Fairy comes into your room at night and steals your musical symbols.
Also instead of leaving you money under your pillow The Clef Fairy poops in your bed.
Look at this mammoth of manliness! The only thing that could make this pokemon any more manly would be a giant penis on it’s forehead. OH WAIT A SECOND IT HAS THAT TOO.
Nidoking, you do indeed deserve your title as “King.” You so manly, my penis is growing just looking at you. And so are all my followers’ penis (yes even the female followers).
I am completely out of things to say about these Nidopokes. Love them or hate them… there are like six pokemon with basically the same name…
Enjoy the animated sprite. That’s all you’ll get out of me.